I like to be inspired before Rosh Hashana and look for words that force me to reflect upon my life and resolve to be a better person in the coming year. That's why I was so grateful that the United Synagogue published its Top Tips on the women's section of their website. Extraordinary to think that they have managed to boil it all down to getting your hat right.
Sunday, 9 September 2012
Thursday, 6 September 2012
A Modest Update
Due to modest demands on other aspects of my life, I have not been blogging as regularly as I had hoped. With Mr Blase's encouragement, that's about to change and you'll be reading more of me. Here's a few choice tidbits of things going on recently....
Iranian medallist refuses to shake hand of Duchess of Cambridge
When paraolympian Mehrdad Karam Zadeh moved forward to receive his silver medal, the demure Duchess of Cambridge gently placed it around his neck and took a couple of steps backwards. He bowed reverentially and put his hands to his heart in a show of appreciation. There was no handshaking and no air kissing. It was totally respectful and actually quite refreshing. There was a bit of a media fuss, but it quickly dissipated after newspaper reports suggested that Kate had been briefed on Iranian cultural codes that forbids physical contact between men and women who are not related to each other. A bit like us really - Israeli politicians and public intellectuals are familiar with these codes of conduct - when the talented Or Asuel won the Bible Quiz in 2010, PM Netanyahu understood that shaking her hand would be inappropriate and he deftly handed her the winner's trophy instead. There's something refreshing about those who understand that the frisson of a momentary touch is something to be savored, and not handed out like candies at a children's party.
Pink pens for the girls
Bic has developed a range of gender sensitive writing materials. Perhaps they were taking a lesson from Lego, the company that targets young girls with a set of 224 LEGO pink pieces from their Bricks and More range. Up-market store Selfridges suggests "you can create your very own pretty pink world with car, house and cute dog" Clearly their copywriter was using one of those Bic pens. Mothers - watch out for any seminaries suggesting that your daughters arrive with their own set of pink pens.
Va Va Voom in Venice
Frum filmmaker, Rama Burshtein, is all wrapped up in Venice while one of the leading ladies leaves her modesty at home. Fill the Void, Burshtein's film set in the haredi community of Tel Aviv, sounds very evocative. Replete in a very modest embellished gown and matching head piece, Burshtein walked confidently along the red carpet at the Venice Film Festival, accompanied by a man presumed to be her husband. One of the young stars of the film chose to wear something much more revealing than her film costume of long sleeved shirt and below-the-knee skirt. A bit of shame really - it would have been a modesty coup for the frum fashion industry. However, I am most intrigued by Mr (Rabbi?) Burshtein - I just love the fact he turned up in Venice in his long black coat, large hat and untrimmed beard, seemingly unfazed by the gliterrati, but there to support his wife. So cool, so Blase.
Saturday, 25 February 2012
Feldheim Books: a parallel universe
The 48 page catalogue was plopped unceremoniously through my letterbox. Feldheim: Jewish Books for the Whole Family. 48 pages of books offering a 25% discount during its annual Purim sale. Everything you’d expect from a religious publisher is available - hagiographies of rabbis including the Satmar and Klausenberger rebbes, Torah with classic commentaries and an assortment of legal texts covering Sabbath observance and laws of Kashrut. There are a myriad of prayer books, and Tefillas Channah caught my eye: “an exquisite book of stirring prayers, specially compiled for the Jewish woman. This beautifully designed, Hebrew-English, pocket-sized book is the Jewish woman's best friend--in good times and in challenging times. With prayers for candle-lighting, marital harmony, pregnancy, childbirth, child-raising, and mikveh immersion, along with many others, this prayer book is one-of-a-kind.”
On page 19, the catalogue starts to get more interesting. Religious Compulsions and Fears: A Guide to Treatment by Dr. Avigdor Bonchek ‘describes some of the obsessive compulsive disorders related to halachic matters as well as specific psychological techniques that can be helpful in treating sufferers. “ The website description elaborates: “He's so rigorous about netillas yadayim that he washes his hands the whole day! She's so careful about keeping kosher that she seems literally obsessed. He prays for hours on end, worried that he's mispronounced a word or lost concentration. Under the guise of religious observance, countless Jews are held prey to Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, and this book has what it takes to break out of the horrible cycle of entrapment."
There are other psychologically orientated books, but I am most keen to read Windows of the Soul -A Guide to Mastering One’s Eyes by Rabbi Zvi Miller, described as a “lesson-a-day format, assisting men with the difficult talks of mastering one’s eyes in the today’s world. Complete with anecdotal journal entries and focus points for every day.” Alternatively, try It's All a Gift by Miriam Adahan. “From birth, we encounter and endless series of events which are irritating, frightening or tormenting. Situations such as over-crowded living conditions, criticizing relatives or the loss of loved ones can trigger depression, hostility and bitterness. Or, these same events can be used as catalysts whereby we develop our hidden spiritual potential! …Adahan presents the philosophy and methodology which will enable the reader to achieve greater appreciation for the wisdom of Torah and a sense of closeness with G-d in the midst of distress.”
Of course, no Jewish book catalogue would not include some Jewish cookbooks. New to the market is The Bais Yaakov Cookbook by Jamie Geller which includes 200 original recipes with stunning, full color photography, a personal brocha and challah recipe from Rebbetzin Batsheva Kanievsky, a pictorial history of Sara Schneirer and the Bais Yaakov movement, a color guide to checking fruits and vegetables and tips on shopping for, preparing, and serving gourmet meals.” The Bais Yaakov movement, founded by Sara Schneirer in Poland, was a radical revolution that offered Jewish education for girls in the early 1900s. What’s fascinating about this is that Schneirer, a stout, dour looking and determined woman who had a short lived marriage and no children is hardly an inspiration for a cookbook. Yet, by appropriating her for a cook book the authors are recasting the role of the educated Jewish woman into the ultimate homemaker.
The catalogue has a series of novels published by Sapir Press, a Feldheim imprint that “brings you the best in contemporary Jewish literature… .all distinguished by their appropriateness for a Torah home." I was somewhat shocked to read the blurb about Charades by Riva Pomerantz. “On the outside, they're a perfect family. But what's really going on, beneath the surface? This is a novel like none you've experienced before. True-to-life characters, a fast-moving plot laced with suspense and mystery, and a message so powerful and so contemporary it will leave you reeling, Charades is an epic, exquisite story. Renowned author Riva Pomerantz weaves a riveting tale, opening a window on domestic abuse in the Orthodox community, presenting a compelling picture of the reality, the process, and above all, the hope. This is truly an unforgettable, transformational read.”
Since when did the religious community write about domestic violence or personal growth? One would have to embark on an academic study of these sorts of catalogues from years past, but I can’t imagine that these psychologically orientated and self-help books were written 20 years ago, or even 10 years ago. These books indicate a shift in the social realities of the Orthodox world that merit further study as do the publishers who play an ideological role to ensure that these issues are brought to the fore, even if they are ultimately motivated by the profit margin.
Keen to expand their international reach, Feldheim have commissioned me to write their next novel. It’s set in a typical middle class Jewish family in London. I’ve got a rather long working title: The girl who wanted to be Chief Rabbi, but married him instead.
On page 19, the catalogue starts to get more interesting. Religious Compulsions and Fears: A Guide to Treatment by Dr. Avigdor Bonchek ‘describes some of the obsessive compulsive disorders related to halachic matters as well as specific psychological techniques that can be helpful in treating sufferers. “ The website description elaborates: “He's so rigorous about netillas yadayim that he washes his hands the whole day! She's so careful about keeping kosher that she seems literally obsessed. He prays for hours on end, worried that he's mispronounced a word or lost concentration. Under the guise of religious observance, countless Jews are held prey to Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, and this book has what it takes to break out of the horrible cycle of entrapment."
There are other psychologically orientated books, but I am most keen to read Windows of the Soul -A Guide to Mastering One’s Eyes by Rabbi Zvi Miller, described as a “lesson-a-day format, assisting men with the difficult talks of mastering one’s eyes in the today’s world. Complete with anecdotal journal entries and focus points for every day.” Alternatively, try It's All a Gift by Miriam Adahan. “From birth, we encounter and endless series of events which are irritating, frightening or tormenting. Situations such as over-crowded living conditions, criticizing relatives or the loss of loved ones can trigger depression, hostility and bitterness. Or, these same events can be used as catalysts whereby we develop our hidden spiritual potential! …Adahan presents the philosophy and methodology which will enable the reader to achieve greater appreciation for the wisdom of Torah and a sense of closeness with G-d in the midst of distress.”
Of course, no Jewish book catalogue would not include some Jewish cookbooks. New to the market is The Bais Yaakov Cookbook by Jamie Geller which includes 200 original recipes with stunning, full color photography, a personal brocha and challah recipe from Rebbetzin Batsheva Kanievsky, a pictorial history of Sara Schneirer and the Bais Yaakov movement, a color guide to checking fruits and vegetables and tips on shopping for, preparing, and serving gourmet meals.” The Bais Yaakov movement, founded by Sara Schneirer in Poland, was a radical revolution that offered Jewish education for girls in the early 1900s. What’s fascinating about this is that Schneirer, a stout, dour looking and determined woman who had a short lived marriage and no children is hardly an inspiration for a cookbook. Yet, by appropriating her for a cook book the authors are recasting the role of the educated Jewish woman into the ultimate homemaker.
The catalogue has a series of novels published by Sapir Press, a Feldheim imprint that “brings you the best in contemporary Jewish literature… .all distinguished by their appropriateness for a Torah home." I was somewhat shocked to read the blurb about Charades by Riva Pomerantz. “On the outside, they're a perfect family. But what's really going on, beneath the surface? This is a novel like none you've experienced before. True-to-life characters, a fast-moving plot laced with suspense and mystery, and a message so powerful and so contemporary it will leave you reeling, Charades is an epic, exquisite story. Renowned author Riva Pomerantz weaves a riveting tale, opening a window on domestic abuse in the Orthodox community, presenting a compelling picture of the reality, the process, and above all, the hope. This is truly an unforgettable, transformational read.”
Since when did the religious community write about domestic violence or personal growth? One would have to embark on an academic study of these sorts of catalogues from years past, but I can’t imagine that these psychologically orientated and self-help books were written 20 years ago, or even 10 years ago. These books indicate a shift in the social realities of the Orthodox world that merit further study as do the publishers who play an ideological role to ensure that these issues are brought to the fore, even if they are ultimately motivated by the profit margin.
Keen to expand their international reach, Feldheim have commissioned me to write their next novel. It’s set in a typical middle class Jewish family in London. I’ve got a rather long working title: The girl who wanted to be Chief Rabbi, but married him instead.
Monday, 20 December 2010
The Power of Amen - Child-Women and Brachas Parties
‘Say Amen, Mummy.’ My youngest daughter is full of enthusiasm for her brachos (blessings). As every modest mother knows, training our children to say blessings before and after food is one of the pleasures of parenting. So it came as a surprise to find women acting like children at a ‘brachos party.’ Advertised as an opportunity ‘to make some brachot, eat some food, and say amen - let's do our hishtadlut (effort) to help our fellow Jews in their time of need. All this, plus a Devar Torah at the end - all in under an hour. Make it one of the best hours you've spent, and turn up!' Well – I just couldn’t resist.
This party was held in the women’s section of a Sephardi shul in Hendon, a bustling hub of London’s Orthodox life. The basic premise of these parties is that the word ‘Amen’ has some sort of kabbalistic power to bring about good things for people in trouble. Sheets of paper with various headings were on a table: zivuggim (a partner), parnassah ( livelihood) yeshua (general help) and cholim (sick people). As the women entered the room, many of them added names to these sheets – names that would be prayed for later in the evening. The list for a suitable partner was the longest – wherever I go, I can’t get away from lists of wonderful single women in their late 30s looking for a husband. Plates of cake, biscuits, fruit, vegetables, crisps and sweets were distributed on all the tables – all in preparation for the collective flurry of Amens to be recited.
A few women, with snoods askew and chapped hands, brought large buckets of dough to the party as they wanted to use this as an opportunity to publicly say the blessing of ‘hafrashat challah’ – putting aside a small amount of dough before baking bread. Then one by one, each person took a piece of cake, said the appropriate bracha and a chorus of Amen answered. We went round the room again for all the other foods, with a running commentary on the importance of our holy endeavour and a reminder to think about those who need our prayers for good health, a good job or a marriage partner.
Eventually, the rabbi of the synagogue came to visit the women and he brought along a friend. We stood in deference and only sat down after they both did. The guest speaker made a pitch for his yeshiva: for only £5 a month, he could guarantee that one of his students would study on my behalf and bring only good things for me and my family. This bargain offer was only available if I signed up on the evening and filled in my bank details to secure payment. I declined. While the attendance of the rabbi seemed to add an air of gravitas to the evening, I wondered if it was the price the women had to pay to have the shul to themselves for most of the evening. These women had transformed the synagogue space, usually reserved for formal prayer, into a space for domestic concerns and eating. In the 18th and 19th centuries women wrote ‘techinot’ – prayers for women reflecting domestic concerns – are these brachos parties a 21st century invention to claim sacred space in the synagogue as their voice cannot be heard during formal services? Are the child-women subverting the status quo right under the noses of their revered rabbis?
The rabbi’s words were troubling. He praised the women and said that by saying a bracha they were averting some terrible preordained catastrophe. Who knew women had such power? But the finale was more disconcerting: the rabbi reminded the women that even more important than saying brachot was wearing modest clothes. He chastised the women who wear beautiful sheitels (wigs) and railed against tight, short skirts. It is quite extraordinary – women have been part of the twists and turns of Jewish history for thousands of years, but in today’s world they are merely the guardians of the modest hemline.
Monday, 30 August 2010
Menu Planning: an Orthodox Woman's Foreplay
I was thinking cupcakes for dessert on first night Rosh Hashana. Topped with chemically enhanced parev whipped cream, I could decorate them with fondant apples or a marzipan shofar. Yes, my dessert will be the talk of Hendon. Philanthropists and educators will praise me for making Judaism relevant in the 21st century - combining contemporary culinary trends with a nod towards tradition. Yes, I really do deserve the moniker 'frum domestic goddess of north-West London.' Here's something you have to know: menu planning is the new foreplay for the Orthodox Jewish woman.
The spiritual challenges of the High Holiday period is the easy bit; the frisson of planning, creating and serving extraordinary meals gives me goosebumps. There's a lot of angst and mutterings about the need to impress in-laws and friends during the marathon of yom-tov meals.Often it feels like we're back in the playground. The core of the frum north-west London community went to the same primary and high schools, and I have sat through so many meals where these apparently grown-up adults replay all their hurt and frustration experienced in the playground 25 years ago. The school's asphalt is still hot, and while men will compete with words: political debate, Talmudic discourse, business machinations, women will compete with food: crash diets, body image and inspirational yom-tov desserts. I feel sorry for the interlopers - the Swiss, Belgians and Americans who married into the frum establishment - they are totally adrift in this sea of adolescent reminiscing.
Competition: the rest is commentary. There are still winners and losers in the playground, but now the definitions have changed. There was a time when the 'clever girls' were the winners: free spirits who went to university, got themselves a career and interesting jobs while the girls who went to seminary and got married shortly afterwards were lauded publicly but quickly became invisible as they stayed home to breed and raise their young children. Unlike the American scene, it was a rare English rose who could combine domesticity with domination in the work force. Twenty-five years and a serious case of schadenfreude later, the smugly Smeg married woman is considered the real winner. Her single, once-coveted intellectual friend in her late 30s is most definitely the loser, and if she hasn't left for Baka or the Upper West Side, the single woman (and of course, the single man) is the self-conscious odd-number guest at her old school friend's yom-tov table.
These multi-leaved tables, groaning with exotic salads, tender meats and lush desserts, are the convenient story of north-west London. But inconveniently these tables also represent the intense competition over food production and male virility: can he afford to let you buy the expensive meat? Unwittingly, these tables undermine the romantic notion we have of our own community. These sumptuous tables don't tell the story of the families who are reliant on the kindness of the 'chicken ladies' (a small group of selfless and modest women who have quietly collected money, and cut a deal with the butchers to supply chickens at cost-price to a growing number of families in Golders Green and Hendon who are finding it increasingly difficult to afford food for Shabbat and Festivals). These tables don't tell the story of the increasing number of orthodox women who have been publicly humiliated by their husbands' indiscretions. Many are now divorced, others are heading that way - their families fractured and their yom-tov table ruined. People do not always choose the circumstances they find themselves in, and our ability to empathize with their situation and offer friendship is a wonderful Rosh Hashanah gift.
Yes, I will stick with cupcakes for dessert. It's a corny metaphor, but if we can take one large cake mixture and then make individual cupcakes, each with its own flavour and decoration, all equally delicious - then surely we can take one large mixture of Jewish people and create individuals, each with his or her own flavour and decoration, all equally delicious.
The spiritual challenges of the High Holiday period is the easy bit; the frisson of planning, creating and serving extraordinary meals gives me goosebumps. There's a lot of angst and mutterings about the need to impress in-laws and friends during the marathon of yom-tov meals.Often it feels like we're back in the playground. The core of the frum north-west London community went to the same primary and high schools, and I have sat through so many meals where these apparently grown-up adults replay all their hurt and frustration experienced in the playground 25 years ago. The school's asphalt is still hot, and while men will compete with words: political debate, Talmudic discourse, business machinations, women will compete with food: crash diets, body image and inspirational yom-tov desserts. I feel sorry for the interlopers - the Swiss, Belgians and Americans who married into the frum establishment - they are totally adrift in this sea of adolescent reminiscing.
Competition: the rest is commentary. There are still winners and losers in the playground, but now the definitions have changed. There was a time when the 'clever girls' were the winners: free spirits who went to university, got themselves a career and interesting jobs while the girls who went to seminary and got married shortly afterwards were lauded publicly but quickly became invisible as they stayed home to breed and raise their young children. Unlike the American scene, it was a rare English rose who could combine domesticity with domination in the work force. Twenty-five years and a serious case of schadenfreude later, the smugly Smeg married woman is considered the real winner. Her single, once-coveted intellectual friend in her late 30s is most definitely the loser, and if she hasn't left for Baka or the Upper West Side, the single woman (and of course, the single man) is the self-conscious odd-number guest at her old school friend's yom-tov table.
These multi-leaved tables, groaning with exotic salads, tender meats and lush desserts, are the convenient story of north-west London. But inconveniently these tables also represent the intense competition over food production and male virility: can he afford to let you buy the expensive meat? Unwittingly, these tables undermine the romantic notion we have of our own community. These sumptuous tables don't tell the story of the families who are reliant on the kindness of the 'chicken ladies' (a small group of selfless and modest women who have quietly collected money, and cut a deal with the butchers to supply chickens at cost-price to a growing number of families in Golders Green and Hendon who are finding it increasingly difficult to afford food for Shabbat and Festivals). These tables don't tell the story of the increasing number of orthodox women who have been publicly humiliated by their husbands' indiscretions. Many are now divorced, others are heading that way - their families fractured and their yom-tov table ruined. People do not always choose the circumstances they find themselves in, and our ability to empathize with their situation and offer friendship is a wonderful Rosh Hashanah gift.
Yes, I will stick with cupcakes for dessert. It's a corny metaphor, but if we can take one large cake mixture and then make individual cupcakes, each with its own flavour and decoration, all equally delicious - then surely we can take one large mixture of Jewish people and create individuals, each with his or her own flavour and decoration, all equally delicious.
Sunday, 1 August 2010
And so, another Jewish man marries out. Clearly, a Jewish husband is the lastest must-have accessory. Ivanka got hers last year, Chelesa did yesterday and there's a slew of pretty It-girls with Jewish boyfriends hoping that he'll turn into that nerdy-yet sexy, dependable Jewish husband. It would be churlish not to wish Chelsea and Marc mazal tov on their wedding, but quite frankly, all the self-congratulations about this union signalling the ultimate acceptance of 'The Jew' leaves me cold.
I'm worried about all the single Jewish women. There's a glut of single Jewish women who would prefer to marry a Jewish man, but they've all been taken by the waspy girl-next-door. And when that waspy girl wants to convert, well then every celebrity rabbi is elbowing her way forward to become the spiritual mentor of the moment.
All this makes me even more despondent about the situation facing single Jewish women, particularly those in the Orthodox community. But here's where I am going to make myself really unpopular - the number of women converts far exceeds male converts and these women converts are encroaching on the local home grown talent, taking away potential husbands for the women in their 30s and 40s who have been searching for a suitable mate for so long. It's very disheartening for these women to watch what happens when a woman converts and within a few months is married to a local fellow. I say this tentatively and with respect, for we are obliged to welcome the converts and the tremendous sacrifices they make, particularly given the demands of London's notoriously rigorous Beth Din are very impressive. And of course, we're all familiar with the convert who eventually dumps her Jewish boyfriend because he is not frum enough for her - it's usually enough to make him run into the arms of the nearest shiksa.
The only solution I can come up with is a proactive campaign to convert more non-Jewish men. It's hardly a new idea but someone has to take the lead in enticing all those interesting non-Jewish men in our workplaces to explore the benefits of converting. And maybe it doesn't even have to be a halachic conversion: recently I saw the term 'sociological converstion' whereby people are absorbing the social mores and values of a Jewish lifestyle without confining themselves to a rabbinical conversion.
Of course, it's not ideal, but it could prove an option for men and a solution for women as the halachic status of ensuing children will not be compromised. And in a reversal of many other cultures where boys are prized over births, Jews will always be relieved if a daughter is born – it’s an halachic assurance of Jewish grandchildren no matter what reckless decisions her mother makes.
I'm worried about all the single Jewish women. There's a glut of single Jewish women who would prefer to marry a Jewish man, but they've all been taken by the waspy girl-next-door. And when that waspy girl wants to convert, well then every celebrity rabbi is elbowing her way forward to become the spiritual mentor of the moment.
All this makes me even more despondent about the situation facing single Jewish women, particularly those in the Orthodox community. But here's where I am going to make myself really unpopular - the number of women converts far exceeds male converts and these women converts are encroaching on the local home grown talent, taking away potential husbands for the women in their 30s and 40s who have been searching for a suitable mate for so long. It's very disheartening for these women to watch what happens when a woman converts and within a few months is married to a local fellow. I say this tentatively and with respect, for we are obliged to welcome the converts and the tremendous sacrifices they make, particularly given the demands of London's notoriously rigorous Beth Din are very impressive. And of course, we're all familiar with the convert who eventually dumps her Jewish boyfriend because he is not frum enough for her - it's usually enough to make him run into the arms of the nearest shiksa.
The only solution I can come up with is a proactive campaign to convert more non-Jewish men. It's hardly a new idea but someone has to take the lead in enticing all those interesting non-Jewish men in our workplaces to explore the benefits of converting. And maybe it doesn't even have to be a halachic conversion: recently I saw the term 'sociological converstion' whereby people are absorbing the social mores and values of a Jewish lifestyle without confining themselves to a rabbinical conversion.
Of course, it's not ideal, but it could prove an option for men and a solution for women as the halachic status of ensuing children will not be compromised. And in a reversal of many other cultures where boys are prized over births, Jews will always be relieved if a daughter is born – it’s an halachic assurance of Jewish grandchildren no matter what reckless decisions her mother makes.
Wednesday, 5 August 2009
Summer Camps - a privilege for the pampered
Now that the fasting of Tisha B’Av is over, the folly of summer camp begins. Talking about ‘getting the kids ready for camp’ is a favourite Shabbat lunch topic, while ‘shopping for camp’ is a specific activity that Hendon mothers (and yes, I generalise) undertake with a specific passion usually reserved for, well, things I am too modest to mention. New T-shirts, shoes, suitcases, underwear, bedding, hair accessories and skirts are standard. How the world has changed - when I begged my parents to let me go to camp, I had to choose my words carefully - camp only meant Auschwitz or Bergen-Belsen.
“Going to camp” exposes the wealth divide in much of the frum community. Bnei Akiva, the movement aligned with the national-religious Mizrachi movement, costs £655 for a two week residential camp, and while there are bursaries, these are usually reserved for those on welfare benefits or single parents. While your average family on middling-incomes may be lucky enough to have the money in the bank, understandably it may not be their first priority to send one, if not more, children to camp. For children who are not at Jewish schools, camp is the best way to develop Jewish social networks, learn more about Jewish texts and experience a Jewish lifestyle in a non-threatening environment. Anecdotal evidence suggests that Jewish communal leaders are inspired by their formative experiences of Jewish summer camp, and this is reflected in the fact that only the wealthy men and women can afford to be our lay leaders.
However, some consider camp a pernicious influence. Last year, the German government banned the far-right youth organisation "Heimattreue Deutsche Jugend", or German Youth Faithful to the Homeland, for trying to indoctrinate children and teenagers at their summer camps which include military-style drills and courses on "racial purity." This year, David Cameron has announced some half-baked idea for young people to get involved in summer camps and community projects as a means of raising the self-esteem and sense of social responsibility of the underprivileged. In Israel, concern about the extreme religious teachings in summer camps organised by Fatah and Hamas has been a long-standing issue. In Uzbekistan, the government has accused the Baptist Union of brainwashing children with religious ideas at their summer camp. Some may wonder if it is so different at Jewish summer camps that celebrate Jewish nationalism, reinforce Jewish insularity and solidarity and see the world solely through the Jewish lens. For example, Camp Gan Israel advertises itself as “Where Jewish kids are Happier, and Happy Kids are Jewisher!” Jewisher than what?
While it’s simple when religious camps are sex-segregated, it gets a little more complicated where boys and girls are together. Naturally it is expected that they will be kosher and Sabbath-observant, however, the dress code and the relationship code is a little more ambiguous. At Bnei Akiva, there is much less talk of its revered Torah v’Avodah ideology, and more obsession with ‘shomer negia,’ (literally ‘guarding the touch’) which forbids any physical contact between the young male and female campers and their leaders. While it is comforting to parents to know that it’s unlikely their daughter will be deflowered at Bnei Akiva camp, this skewed focus on the physical relationships has ironically, created more sexual tension between its senior members. It’s no surprise that many a marriage in modern Orthodox circles was first imagined at a Bnei Akiva camp. Singles cruises geared for all the religious unmarried men and women in their 30s is all about re-creating the romantic possibilities of a Bnei Akiva summer camp.
What about the homesick child at summer camp? In my day, you’d cry yourself to sleep and put on a brave face during the day and soon afterwards, it would all be fine. The mobile phone has changed the summer camp experience forever. For a while, they were banned from summer camp, but this year, most youth movements have conceded to pressure to allow the children to bring their phone to camp. The problem is that generally, the children will ring their parents, or email them from their Blackberry (the hand-me-down phone of choice when their parents upgrade their own phone) at the slightest complaint or indignation.
Children no longer have to rely on their inner resources and resilience – they can always phone home for comfort and succour. Jewish camp providers have to pander to parental demands and expectations to ensure cash flow, while children learn that their needs and their happiness is all that matters. Narcissistic children calling their parents from summer camp does not augur well for the future of the Jewish community – a community that desperately needs visionary leadership, selfless membership and a deep commitment to ensuring that Jewish values permeates all communal activity. As long as summer camp remains accessible only to the privileged, the community has no idea what talented and dedicated young people are waiting to be discovered.
“Going to camp” exposes the wealth divide in much of the frum community. Bnei Akiva, the movement aligned with the national-religious Mizrachi movement, costs £655 for a two week residential camp, and while there are bursaries, these are usually reserved for those on welfare benefits or single parents. While your average family on middling-incomes may be lucky enough to have the money in the bank, understandably it may not be their first priority to send one, if not more, children to camp. For children who are not at Jewish schools, camp is the best way to develop Jewish social networks, learn more about Jewish texts and experience a Jewish lifestyle in a non-threatening environment. Anecdotal evidence suggests that Jewish communal leaders are inspired by their formative experiences of Jewish summer camp, and this is reflected in the fact that only the wealthy men and women can afford to be our lay leaders.
However, some consider camp a pernicious influence. Last year, the German government banned the far-right youth organisation "Heimattreue Deutsche Jugend", or German Youth Faithful to the Homeland, for trying to indoctrinate children and teenagers at their summer camps which include military-style drills and courses on "racial purity." This year, David Cameron has announced some half-baked idea for young people to get involved in summer camps and community projects as a means of raising the self-esteem and sense of social responsibility of the underprivileged. In Israel, concern about the extreme religious teachings in summer camps organised by Fatah and Hamas has been a long-standing issue. In Uzbekistan, the government has accused the Baptist Union of brainwashing children with religious ideas at their summer camp. Some may wonder if it is so different at Jewish summer camps that celebrate Jewish nationalism, reinforce Jewish insularity and solidarity and see the world solely through the Jewish lens. For example, Camp Gan Israel advertises itself as “Where Jewish kids are Happier, and Happy Kids are Jewisher!” Jewisher than what?
While it’s simple when religious camps are sex-segregated, it gets a little more complicated where boys and girls are together. Naturally it is expected that they will be kosher and Sabbath-observant, however, the dress code and the relationship code is a little more ambiguous. At Bnei Akiva, there is much less talk of its revered Torah v’Avodah ideology, and more obsession with ‘shomer negia,’ (literally ‘guarding the touch’) which forbids any physical contact between the young male and female campers and their leaders. While it is comforting to parents to know that it’s unlikely their daughter will be deflowered at Bnei Akiva camp, this skewed focus on the physical relationships has ironically, created more sexual tension between its senior members. It’s no surprise that many a marriage in modern Orthodox circles was first imagined at a Bnei Akiva camp. Singles cruises geared for all the religious unmarried men and women in their 30s is all about re-creating the romantic possibilities of a Bnei Akiva summer camp.
What about the homesick child at summer camp? In my day, you’d cry yourself to sleep and put on a brave face during the day and soon afterwards, it would all be fine. The mobile phone has changed the summer camp experience forever. For a while, they were banned from summer camp, but this year, most youth movements have conceded to pressure to allow the children to bring their phone to camp. The problem is that generally, the children will ring their parents, or email them from their Blackberry (the hand-me-down phone of choice when their parents upgrade their own phone) at the slightest complaint or indignation.
Children no longer have to rely on their inner resources and resilience – they can always phone home for comfort and succour. Jewish camp providers have to pander to parental demands and expectations to ensure cash flow, while children learn that their needs and their happiness is all that matters. Narcissistic children calling their parents from summer camp does not augur well for the future of the Jewish community – a community that desperately needs visionary leadership, selfless membership and a deep commitment to ensuring that Jewish values permeates all communal activity. As long as summer camp remains accessible only to the privileged, the community has no idea what talented and dedicated young people are waiting to be discovered.
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